Once
by TivaJelloGSR
Summary: "... you don't have a baby girl!". But what if Ziva did have one once, and Tony too - Arianna. Tag for episode 3x14 'Light Sleeper'


**Disclaimer: If I owned NCIS would I write fanfiction? NO**

**A/N: This has been bugging me for a while and so I am finally writing it down even if it is TWO IN THE MORNING. Tag to episode 3x14 "Light Sleeper". Very OOC, but hey what can you do. Hope you like it.**

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><p>"... you don't have a baby girl!"<p>

Ziva stopped dead. Her face contorted into a pained expression. She kept shaking her head, trying to convince herself it was not Gibbs' fault, he could not possibly have known. If he had known he would not have said it … right?

The old man in question had not initially noticed his youngest agent's reaction, thinking he had merely silenced her. It was not until he saw DiNozzo rushing to comfort the girl that he realised something was wrong. Silent tears were now falling down the woman's cheeks as she buried her face in the crook of her loving partner's neck.

"Ziva …" Gibbs was not sure how to act in this situation, he did not even know what the situation was!

Ziva just replied by sobbing harder.

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><p>"What's the matter with them?" Abby had bounced into the bullpen but halted her joyous dance as she saw the two agents in a prolonged tearful embrace.<p>

"Gibbs said something about baby girls and Ziva just burst out in tears" McGee whispered back to the concerned Goth.

"And Tony?"

"Tony? There's nothing wrong with …" he trailed off as he saw his best friend's shoulders shaking with sadness, something he had not noticed before on account of staring at Ziva in horrified fascination.

They stayed like that for a good ten minutes until neither person had tears left to shed. Then they wiped their eyes and looked up at the three onlookers in an ashamed way. Ziva sniffed one last time and steadied herself "Sorry Gibbs" she rubbed her eyes again and pushed herself away from Tony.

"Ziva, DiNozzo" he beckoned towards himself "Come with me"

They followed after him like obedient dogs and stepped into the elevator, casting each other nervous, distraught glances.

Gibbs flicked the switch and the lift ground to a halt "Something you two need to say?"

"Gibbs …" They could not find the words to describe their pain.

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><p><em>He was just a handsome stranger she met in a bar. She'd never seen him before but he intrigued her, oh how he had intrigued her. They had a couple of drinks and some how ended up in his hotel room. She was only 18 and he was 28 but that had not mattered to them in the heat of the moment. Afterwards they had parted ways and never met again. Now 4 weeks later here she was throwing up every day with that daunting little white stick in her hand, complete with tiny blue cross.<em>

"So you two have met before?"

"Yes boss" Tony stated stoically.

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><p><em>She was so ashamed. Her father was so angry. She had been careless, fallen pregnant and now was tied down. But she had also been weak, her father had tried to abort her baby but she could not do it, it was part of her and the mysterious stranger. She was also very, very bloated being one day off her due date.<em>

"He was so angry. He actually hated me, never said but I knew it" Uncharacteristic tears started to trickle down Ziva's cheeks.

_She had never been in so much pain. The contractions she could cope with she was strong physically, it was the mental hurt she could not bare, she was completely alone. An 18 year old 14 hours into labour and all alone. She had run away unable to cope with her father and brother's hatred any longer and she had never found her baby's dad. With a sudden searing pain the stillness was sliced by the shrill squeal of a newborn baby. Ziva cut the chord with her pocket knife and ripped off her shirt, as she wrapped the baby up she soothed it "Hey darling sh sh shh. It's ok. Do not cry"_

"I did not know what to do" She sobbed.

Tony placed a comforting arm around her shoulders "I'm so sorry. If I'd have known I would never have left you alone!"

"I know Tony. You need not apologise"

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><p><em>She rushed herself to the hospital to have the baby checked out. They were admitted straight away and soon the child was deemed healthy and discharged once again. Ziva had no where else to go but back home to her father and brother. They unwillingly accepted her back into the house but refused to acknowledge the little girl's existence.<em>

"I named her Arianna Neshama David. I did not know Tony's surname at the time. She was beautiful."

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><p>"<em>Ima! Ima!" The toddler tottered around the house searching for her mother. It had been one and a half years since she was born.<em>

"_I'm here Anna"_

"_Ima, who Abba?" her language was not fully developed._

"_Darling your Abba is probably in America."_

_Ziva and Arianna were waiting to cross the road when out of the corner of her eye Ziva spotted her mysterious stranger once again. She hoisted her daughter into the air and ran down the street towards him "Wait!"_

_He stopped and turned around, remembering that voice._

"_I do not know if you remember me -"_

"_I remember, Ziva"_

"_Tony" suddenly embarrassed she blushed "This is … my daughter Arianna" she jogged Arianna a little on her hip._

"_Shalom" Arianna waved shyly._

"_Shalom Arianna, I'm Tony"_

"_Abba!" the little girl squealed excitedly, making the connection between the name Tony and her father._

"_Anna" Ziva shushed._

"_I'm … I'm not … am I? Ziva?" Tony stuttered._

"We met again that day and after that Anna and Tony would talk every week on the telephone, he would come every few months to see her"

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><p>"<em>Love you Abba" Arianna said as she slid down from the table and hung up the phone, slammed would be a more appropriate description "Ima! Ima!" she ran around the house yelling "Abba's coming again next week!"<em>

"_That'll be nice Anna, he has not been in a while"_

_The 3 year old shook her head sadly "No. Ima, can I go with Tali?"_

"_If you must Arianna. Do not cause Talia any trouble, alright?"_

"_I promise Ima"_

Ziva had to pause to take a breath before she could continue "I heard the explosion. Everyone did. I thought she would be alright, she should have been safe" fresh tears began to fall "It's all my fault … I … I could have stopped them. They should never have died"

"Zi I've told you so many times, it's not your fault, you could never have known" Tony pulled her close and stroked her hair soothingly "Neither of us could have"

"It would have been her sixth birthday in 2 weeks" Ziva smiled thinly "She loved her birthdays, she always wanted a massive cake and it had to be chocolate, anything else and she would not eat it. You remember her second birthday Tony?"

"Only too well. I gave her that sponge cake with her name written on and she gave me what for"

Gibbs had been staring at the couple in horror as he learned about the little girl, he could not believe that he had missed this. After what had happened to Shannon and Kelly, he could not work out why he had not seen the hurt his agents had concealed. He knew exactly how they felt, and what had he gone and done? - yelled at Ziva, brought up the source of her torment. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Ziva and Tony looked at him in disbelief.

"I mean, I know why, I just wish you had especially you DiNozzo"

"They're probably wondering what we're doing in here" Tony laughed to try and lighten the mood, as he always did "Ready to face the music Zi?"

"What music?"

"Figure of speech. I think we should tell them about Anna, remember her like we should"

Ziva closed her eyes in pain "Okay Tony" her voice was very small, very weak.

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><p>"Guys what's going on?" Abby was waiting for them in earnest and tapping her fingertips nervously.<p>

"We have something to tell you" Tony wrapped a supportive arm around his Israeli. Ziva leant over her computer and sent a picture to the plasma screen. A young child with shining curly chocolate hair, pale green eyes and slightly tanned skin smiled down at them, on her left was Ziva, her right Tony and they were all sucking a large strawberry milkshake through brightly colored straws

"This is Arianna Neshama DiNozzo. She was … she was our daughter"

**A/N: Kinda very emotional, but that's what you get from writing fanfiction whilst watching Doctor Who: Doomsday at 2 in the morning.**

**Jorja**


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